Thank you for your service! (Memorial Day edition)
My daughter is getting married! So my five hours of daily screen time (please don’t judge me) is now less Insta and less Facebook, but more Whatsapp communications with international wedding vendors and logging into the Zola wedding portal to check on the latest RSVPs. Despite the bustle fervor that goes with planning a wedding, I️ am thrilled to have a son-in-law … not just a son-in-law but THIS son-in-law. “H” is a dentist in the military and after coming back from a tour in Iraq he connected with my daughter and this last year has been a whirlwind.
I️ am not sure why this born Canadian is obsessed with American military culture. Everyone I️ have ever met with a military background has left an indelible impression. One of the top dental students in my SUNY Buffalo class, Anton was granted a military scholarship to the Navy. I️ remember being so curious about the distinction surrounding this opportunity. In my first associateship, the dentist owner’s daughter was participating in ROTC because she had been inspired by her own German mother coming to America after marrying a U.S. soldier. In Oregon my chair Dr. Craig Baumgartner, a retired colonel from Walter Reed, was brilliant, industrious and above all humble in disposition. There was nothing that he expected from his residents that he was not able to do himself. Because of his strong character, he inspired all of us to be the best versions of ourselves in and out of the operatory. My co-resident “R,” a retired colonel from the military after 21 years of active duty, started an endodontics residency at the age of 45. A meticulous endodontist, I️ don’t think there was a day that he didn’t do a 6-mile run at lunch. My last and possibly my most favorite example of military influences is my best friend’s husband, “K,” who went to the U.S. Military Academy at Westpoint after being selected by his California congresswoman when he was in high school.
While there may be many reasons to join the military, the one thing I️ see time and time again is the character shaping and growth that comes from military culture. Knowing this fact, I️ wanted my last child to apply to Westpoint Academy. When opportunity meets discipline and gratitude, the growth is optimum. My son wanted to become an oral surgeon like his father, but I️ worried that his privilege would interfere with an organic formation of being a healer. Perhaps not for my son, but it was as if my heart spoke to God’s ear and my daughter found a life partner who will add so much to her life and our family. “H” likely gets his steady temperament from his military family legacy (his maternal grandfather was a four-star general in the Pakistan army). He (like me) gets choked up during the same riff of our national anthem. Having already travelled to at least 30 countries, his sense of nationalism is rooted from understanding all types of people which informs his pride of being an American and serving his country.
Two weeks ago, many of us participated in what I️ have affectionately branded DASH: Ohio’s annual Day at the Statehouse. Equipped with facts and figures about dental insurance reform, dental loan repayment and added fluoride to our water, many of us accompanied by“ dental students sat across from state senators and representatives to explain in 15 minutes or less why they need to understand critical issues that face our profession. I️ joined Tom Kelly’s group that had two D4s from Ohio State who would be joining the U.S. Air Force upon graduation. I️ looked at two “kids” tall, confident and ready to take on the world, smiling to myself, because I️ knew they would one day become the best of us. I️ complimented “F” and “L” on their life choice and reminded them that they had chosen a path that would likely lead to development of great skills, ethics and discipline. One day they would be successful leaders in any realm that their post military days would take them whether they became academics, private practice owners, parents or politicians.
When I️ went to ADA lobby day this year in D.C., I️ suggested an engagement photoshoot in our nation’s capital with “H” in his uniform against the backdrop of an April cherry blossoms overlay of the Lincoln Memorial. When several passersby stopped my son-in-law-to-be to shake his hand and say “thank you for your service,” my once reluctant daughter now remarks that these pictures are her favorite.
Dr. Usman may be reached at usman@zoominternet.net.
